This photo was snapped the day I was released from a 72+ hour stay at a mental
health facility following a severely misguided suicide attempt at the ripe age of 22. I had
avoided telling my mother anything was going on until I realized that after several hours in the E.R., I would not be going home that night. To my surprise (and no one else’s), I was placed on a psychiatric hold and would be spending the weekend at a psychiatric facility.
My mother insisted on rushing to the E.R. to see me before I was carted away. I was bratty and rude, irritated that she had ignored my wishes to be left alone. After a little while, my ride came to pick me up and I was ambulanced away.
My “tough girl” act quickly wore off after a few hours in Ward 2. I was absolutely terrified and dying to go home. My mother came to see me every chance she could, once a day on Friday/Sunday and twice on Saturday. On Monday, I was released and my mother came to pick me up along with my father and sister-in-law.
My brother took this photo of me and my mom that evening as we sat on the couch in a permanent embrace. She even broke her own rule and smiled with her teeth.
When I look in my face, I see relief, a bit of guilt and an immense amount of gratitude.
When I look into my mother’s face, all I can see is joy.
To this day, my mother has never expressed any anger with me regarding the whole suicide debacle. All she has ever asked is how I could possibly think she wouldn’t go to the E.R. and now, with a few years behind me, all I can say is I don’t know but I am so glad she came anyway.